So here goes… I can honestly say that this is way out of my comfort zone but I’m taking the leap. This is my very first blog entry and its honestly a little scary and intimidating. I have been contemplating this for a long while now and figured life is too damn short to give a shit.

So to start off let me introduce myself to you. Im Briii yes with three I’s cause I like it that way hehe. I am a wife and mother of 3 beautiful children Wyatt 9, Tucker 5, and Harper 8 months. I live in sunny warm Hollister California, no not like the clothing company we’re not that lame. For the last 9 years it seems that being a wife and mother is all that has defined me, not to say I would trade my life for anything cause I wouldn’t, I love this life.

Ok but let’s be real since that’s what you came here for. So 5 years ago I gave up my career in Neurosurgery to stay home and raise my boys. It has truly been amazing don’t get me wrong but in my soul I always felt that something is missing, a piece of me lost somewhere along the way. It started as a small little tug in the back of my mind almost unrecognizable. For years a just pushed it away, telling myself “be happy smile this is who you are.” All my friends with families seemed just fine so I just kept pushing it away thinking its just my own insecurities.

Rewind to 2019 things were beautiful in life Bothe my sons and husband were happy and I was starting up a gardening business with one of my then best friends. FYI I am a plant nerd. This was an amazing fun time working our local farmers market making beautiful succulent arrangements and working events. I honestly thought my bliss would last forever, I mean how could it not right being in business with your best friend. Boy was I so freaking wrong. Can you take a guess at what happened… if you guessed that 2020 happened you would be right.

Holy shit did 2020 do a number on my entire life. It all started with the passing of a dear friend to brain cancer. Let me tell you I thought that life couldn’t get any worse at the time and then we got the news as we walked out of her funeral the freaking pandemic happened and the whole world stopped. My business became broken since we couldn’t work, which started the strain on our 15 year friendship. Then in August my best friend Krista and her boyfriend were on a routine flight ( she flew helicopters and he flew bush planes)getting lunch in Clear Lake Ca. After take off to head home to Redding they suffered catastrophic engine failure and their plane crashed killing them both. Needless to say my whole entire world stopped, honestly just typing this brings me to tears. Life has not been the same since. Not even 2 weeks later my then best friend and business partner up and decided she simply hated me and said some pretty callous vicious things (that’s a story foremother time) and again my freaking heart broke a little more leaving me with this completely empty feeling inside. I kept thinking to myself how is this possible how can I loose three of my closest friend in a matter of 8 months, HOW? Was I being punished? Am I a bad friend? The truth is people get sick, and people get in accidents and 2020 post pandemic and the political climate surrounding it changed everyone. No one was safe that year. The reality is for some people if you don’t agree you can’t be friends anymore because the work is so freaking divided.

So all these events really had me reeling for a long time, I honestly couldn’t find enjoyment in anything in my life. Then one day I woke up and said screw this crap and told myself ” You have so much left to give in your life you have 2 beautiful sons an amazing husband, live for them” and so I did. I woke up every day with a sense of purpose again homeschooling them and just enjoying every single moment because we never know when it will be our last. 2020 taught me that life can change in an instant and there isn’t a single thing I can do to control any of it.

Don’t get me wrong I struggle everyday, as I suffer from anxiety and depression from childhood traumas. Maybe someday I’ll talk about all of that with you but I’ll leave that for another time.

Anyway I guess my whole entire point is that we all struggle and feel lost and it takes a community of strong beautiful women to help you to see your worth. During 2021 I did some serious soul searching with some amazing women in my life. All moms, some business owner and entrepreneurs, some stay at home moms like me and I realized although we are all in the same ocean our boats are so different yet so similar. We were all feeling this emptiness and lack of self worth, all feeling lost and unseen in our daily lives.

The reality is that when you are a mom and wife slowly the confident and independent women you were before everything slowly fades. It happens so gradually that it’s hard to pin point when it all got muddled up but it does. It takes an extreme amount of self reflection and awareness to realize you left yourself behind.

I got so caught up being a mom and a wife that I forgot ME. I forgot to care about myself, I forgot to check in on my own mental health. Just when I started to figure this all out guess what…. I got pregnant again with our third child. And as happy as this made me, again I was getting lost because now my life is about keeping my precious baby safe.So I put myself on the back burner and on November 1st 2021 Harper Krista was born a pert little life. She’s almost 9 months now as I sit her writing this blog with her on my lap. That’s how long it’s taken me to find the courage to work on find myself again. So I decided starting a blog is going to be the beginning of this journey

So this is what I’m here for to find ME again and maybe help you other moms along the way. Dont worry it won’t all be serious. Im gonna chat with you about my favorite things like momming, gardening, food, beauty and more. It’s a blog about life the good the bad the ugly. The fun, the laughter and the heartbreaks. Im sure I know a few moms who would love to do a guest blog or two. So sit back grab a drink and enjoy the ride.

Xoxo, Briii